For the new year I have decided to share my story. Well as I feel comfortable with at this time. My intention in sharing my story is for you to understand why I have such a passionate mission to help others who are struggling too.
Here it goes....
A few years ago I got really into health and fitness. I was actually working on my second Master's Degree in Counseling Education, when I decided this was no longer for me and I wanted to pursue something totally different. I had already graduated with a Master's in Psychology and was thinking of doing my PhD and eventually have my own practice. But something kept me from doing that, so I worked. I was a counselor at a college and decided what the hell, I will get a degree in this. Big Mistake! I never had my heart into it, so every time I was working on it, well it felt like work, my soul was most def not feeling alive in these classes or when doing the homework.
In my personal life I was becoming increasingly more interested in studying nutrition and fitness. Being someone who has struggled with my weight, due to thyroid issues- Fun Fact: I was born without an actual thyroid gland. Then years on medication for anxiety, which caused weight gain, and a bad car accident which left me struggling with severe neck pain, being in shape was never my thing. But I soon got fed up with that and decided to do something about it.
I had to start slow, like 15mins a day of walking or low impact cardio- I was feeling much better, was seeing a difference in my body, but there was still those few pounds I never could get off.
This eventually led me to finding the Institute of Integrative Nutrition (IIN) and I was like so feeling I had to do this. I was able to borrow the money, from an ex, and I enrolled. My soul was alive! I was so in the zone and felt like this was where I needed to be. Never in my life did I think of coaching, my life was about psychology and I had this goal of becoming a counselor or get my PhD. But I kept feeling this pull towards health and coaching. I figured a lot of my skills from my master’s degree would be used anyways. I would still get to help people like I have had always wanted but I would also be showing others how to improve thier health and wellness - my new passion!
How the hell I was going to launch this career- I had no idea- but I knew it was what I was meant to do.
As I started to continue to study health and wellness and coaching I found myself more and more intrigrued by all of the spirituality / new age woo woo stuff that was going on around me. As I explored these new concepts and started to apply more mindfulness, law of attraction and meditation techniques into my life I started to become increasingly more and more fed up with my current situation. I allowed situations to continue in my life that were not healthy, in fact some were actually toxic my mental wellbeing. I realized I was not going to make the progress I wanted to in my life without admitting some major shit to myself and cleaning up the things which no longer served me.
This was not easy!
Now if you have been just skimming this post- this where my story picks up- Promise.
I kept having this feeling of wanting to move across the country. But wasn't sure when or how to do that. I was having this pull to have a family of my own- that turning 30- biological clock thing was starting to happen (myth or not- I felt a change and a pull). I wanted to go full force into starting an online coaching business. I wanted to have specific changes in my relationship- things which were no non-negotionable as I was getting more aware of myself. The list went on. So I meditated on it all. I visualized. I did vision boards. I mediated while staring at my vision boards and I journaled listening to the messages of my higher self (as you keep reading my blog posts, I will teach you how to do this as well!)
Then as luck - or fate- would have it. It all started to come together. I was reunited with an old family friend during my brothers weddings. There was an energy attached to him I was so unable to ignore. I was drawn to him on such a -I can only describe it as soulful- level that I knew there was something there and I had to spend more time with him to find out what it was. We talked for days and my higher self spoke to me so clearly. Not only did I know this person was for me, there was also the clear sign of him now living in the place I had also wanted to me. Hmmmm weird.
Going totally based off of my intuition/ Higher Self. I quit my job or five years and decided to pack up and go! Craziest thing I ever did and for the first time EVER, I never doubted what I was doing (if you know me, you know I second guess just about everything). I had no job lined up, I had interviewed, but nothing was offered yet. I had savings that I figured out would last me so many months and in the meantime I would work on my coaching until something else took off to supplement my income.
The plan was great.
We moved to California. I got a part time job offer at a university (the one I actually wanted, because part time meant I still had benefits but plenty of time to explore the new place I was living AND work on a business!) like two days after we landed.
Here my first lesson of following your heart was learned. When you trust in things working out- they will!
Things seemed to be going according to my written out plan.
But the universe had a much greater plan
Not even three weeks after we got there. I found out I was pregnant. I was in shock and scared. I was in no way prepared for this- even though- okay yes, I kind of was manifesting the whole wanting a family thing for a while.
But then I started to get really sick, like REALLY awful pregnancy sickness. Constant nausea like only 3 hours in the morning where I felt somewhat human. Throwing up. Exhaustion. Like I felt like I was fucken dying. I started to get depressed because I was so sick and tired ALL of the time. I couldn’t comprehend anything that had to do with a new job and I was trying to keep my sickness to myself the entire time.
Then at three months, we found out it was TWINS! Two weeks after this found out it was identical twins as well as it being the most RARE type you could have (Mono/Mono). This is all a story in itself and one I will write one day.
But to give the basics; it meant they had a 50% of making it until 24 weeks which was around the time I would be required to go into the hospital for monitoring until they were born. Not even a month after this I found out I had cervical insufficiency which required an emergency surgery and then modified bed rest until my hospitalization.
Fast Forward to May 2016, I delivered 2 VERY healthy boys at 32 weeks (my delivery goal). The boys spent 5 weeks in the NICU. I was healing from a c section and extreme muscle atrophy from bed rest.
Bringing home TWO premature babies was intense. We were sleep deprived, scared and I was still having intense pains, not so much from the c section, but from all of my muscles still basically being like jello.
I wanted to work out so bad. I missed it so much during my pregnancy and I was becoming more and more frustrated that my body would not keep up with my mental - high energy- ways. Between this, dealing with two babies, severe sleep deprivation, financial stress and feeling anxious about having to go back to work and leaving them so soon, caused more and more anxiety and a diagnosis of Postpartum Depression. Which I was too ashamed to even admit to anyone except my fiance, mom and a couple of friends who I knew would never judge.
So this is part of my story- these events (the ones I shared and the ones I still have not)- have taught me that I am strong AF. That I have learned many lessons and put through many situations in order to help others. I know that is my purpose. I know it what I have been called to do and I know it is why I have had these very specific experiences.
My experiences have been given to me so I can teach you. The goal of this blog is here to serve you so you can…
start making small - yet effective changes in your life to improve your own HEALTH and wellness
learn how to connect with your higher self so you can TRUST your intuition
improve your ENERGY (physically and mentally) so you can easily chase after your kids and keep up with a crazy hectic schedule
LOVE your body- just as it is NOW
create BALANCE to reduce the anxiety, stress and overwhelm that comes from being a busy mom
MANIFEST all you wish, need and desire all by learning to trust and believe in yourself